"Why do all you do is talk about race?"

"Why do all you do is talk about race?"

You read correctly, it's not my dyslexia shining through, I'm simply dedicating my first ever post to a conversation sent to me by a friend of mine that has been circulating. I have chosen to keep the identity of the person anonymous as in the grand scheme of things it isn't relevant. You may disagree and that's ok, disagreement is healthy. But respect my reasons for anonymity. Anyway lets get into it, and get ready because this is going to be a long one. If you can, remove some of the emotion or place it to the side and approach this impartially.

"I'm sorry I just had to say why the **** do all you do is talk about race, it's actually annoying me now, it's making more of a divide and reason to argue and cause drama, just stop banging on about it ALL the time, what do you have to prove, like why are you angry, what's the route of your problem just chill out and smoke a joint or something, can you imagine if I posted something like this in reverse, obviously I would never, but can you imagine the hate I'd get, I find it disgusting that you can sit on social media all day b**ching about 'white people wanting to be black', just shut up !! I'm sorry I have to say it someone does because everyone agrees, it's a toxic way of living, I understand the past and it's horrible and I'm not racist at all, have never been, but in previous posts you make out girls using fake tan is such a massive issue, Being a girl who uses fake tan myself I find it very hard to understand how you can't see it's reverse racism? Making white people feel as if they can't do something, I can go get the exact same tan in the sun if I wanted am I still 'mocking black culture'? I'm sorry but I'm done seeing it and hearing about it. Between you and me I just want to actually have a conversation with how you think it's okay? And I'm talking about the tan thing and all the other stuff you say about music or whatever, not any situation in particular just that x"

I'm not sure where to start so we'll go from the beginning and as my uncle says, treat it like its an English GCSE. 

Why the **** do all you do is talk about race

With the tragedies that are happening at the moment, one could argue now more than ever is a time to freely and openly talk about race. It's also important to remember that although we ourselves do not define ourselves solely by our race, the world often defines Black people, and other people of colour by the colour of their skin. 

It's annoying me now

All I ask is that you don't make this issue about you. I apologise for the inconvenience of seeing first hand the inhuman murder of another person, and I say person because before he is a black man, he is a human being. Step back and evaluate how you reached the conclusion that it annoys you. Is it the bombardment of seeing the video over and over again and witnessing the torture that annoys you? For me I can relate to this, I wouldn't say it annoys me, rather it chips away at my soul and takes a shred of home for humanity away every time. 

Is it the fact that in the case of George Floyd, may he rest in peace, there is no loophole or argument that can be made to justify his death as is found in many cases of police brutality? I don't know the answer but I think it is worth exploring what it is that annoys you with regards to openly discussing race related issues and then we can open that dialogue. Hopefully by doing this we can reach a point where you are able to see such atrocities and not make them about you.

it's making more of a divide and reason to argue and cause drama,

How? This is not a divide which it's forming, it's one that has always existed, but if we don't have these conversations then we can never bridge this 'divide'. By bridge I don't mean all play out the happy family scenario and go home and speak negatively about each other behind closed doors, I mean seeing and acknowledging the differences, learning them, understanding them and accepting them.

just stop banging on about it ALL the time

The stigma around speaking on matters regarding race is one that needs to be broken across generations. We have to normalise this conversation because how else can we expect to move forward? Problems as deep rooted as this cannot magically disappear. 

like why are you angry, what's the route(sic) of your problem

Hmmm... Firstly, I'd like to say that although I myself am one person and I can, and do represent so many people, I cannot answer this. I am not at liberty to decide and pinpoint the one reason as to why it is that Black people are angry. I don't think it's ever acceptable to place such a burden on someone. If I were to ask someone "why do you believe in God?What is your proof that He exists?" I cannot take their answer as the collective answer of all the followers of that religion because it is their personal experience. 

This is a massive topic I want to get into and explore in greater detail but for now I simply ask this person, why do you think we're angry, what do you think the root of our problem is? Do many reasons come to your mind? Maybe only one. Are you able to decide which is a more valid reason, and if so what criteria are you using? Before asking others questions like this, I wonder if we started by asking ourselves and exploring the answer, we would rephrase the question, or be at a better place to hear and digest their answer. Just some food for thought. 

just chill out and smoke a joint or something

....We have bigger fish to fry, but don't worry we'll come back to this....

can you imagine if I posted something like this in reverse

Reverse racism is a whole other topic I want to look into so for now I'll call on words from our good old Oxford English Dictionary:

"A belief that one’s own racial or ethnic group is superior, or that other such groups represent a threat to one's cultural identity, racial integrity, or economic well-being; (also) a belief that the members of different racial or ethnic groups possess specific characteristics, abilities, or qualities, which can be compared and evaluated. Hence: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against people of other racial or ethnic groups (or, more widely, of other nationalities), esp. based on such beliefs"

It's a lot to think about isn't it? So that's all we'll do for now. 

I find it disgusting that you can sit on social media all day b**ching about 'white people wanting to be black' 

Again, too big of a topic to tackle now, but pause and think about how much of modern culture, music and fashion is heavily influenced by Black culture. Is cultural appropriation a figment of my imagination? I'm very much against it however, if you would like to appropriate my culture, or any culture for that matter that is not your own, then I ask you to take every part of it, not just the fun parts.

Please, take the pain that comes with it, the risk to your life, the everyday barriers surrounding you from birth. Take the painful history too and learn how it continues to influence modern day life. This doesn't just apply to Black culture, all forms of cultural appropriation it upset me. Seeing "Kimonos" sold in high street shops. I'm quoting Kimono in this instant because the £10 shawl you buy called a "Kimono" is worlds away from the beautiful, intricate and significant traditional garment.

I have to say it, someone does because everyone agrees, it's a toxic way of living

What here is being referred to as toxic? Is it that being Black is a toxic way of living? If so then again I must apologise as there is simply nothing I can do to change this. Is it toxic that as young people we're finding our voice and speaking out on the issues affecting us? If so then what would you have us do, remain silent?

You and I both know a problem doesn't just magically disappear so I ask you to give me some alternatives. I cannot promise I will take them on because you are not the decider of my way of living, the same way I can never and will never attempt to be the judge of whether or not your way of life is 'a toxic way of living' If it really is the case that everyone agrees, then as a community, movement and collective species sadly, we have a lot longer to go than any of us realise. 

I understand the past and it's horrible

 Acknowledging the past and how painful it is, is a good step in the right direction. However to say that you understand the past is very much an over statement. I can confidently say this because I attended the same secondary school as this individual. The aspects of history we were taught about were through a very specific lens.We learnt exactly what you'd expect us to have learnt, Slavery and the civil rights movements. 

I have a question for my history teachers. Aside from the age old why is this, and specific  parts of the Civil Rights movement, are the only parts of Black history included in our curriculum. If this is the only history you are willing to teach me, why is there no focus on the abolition of the slave trade. Why don't we learn about Harriet Tubman, William Lloyd Garrison and other great abolitionists that liberated slaves? You will all get sick of me saying this but again, I do not have the answers. So instead of accepting not knowing, I will simply continue to as: Why? And see where the path takes me. If I myself as a Black person do not fully understand my past and my history, will anyone on the outside be able to?

girls using fake tan is such a massive issue, Being a girl who uses fake tan myself I fin it very hard to understand how you can't see it's reverse racism 

I know my opinion on this topic but instead of sharing it directly I'd like to ask someone to take me step by step through how fake tan is reverse racism. Think of this like a flipped learning exercise, when your teacher gives you questions, you go away read up, answer the questions then come back and are given the answers.

Again, I am not the teacher in this scenario so do not expect me to give you THE answer, because I do not have the answers, all I have is my thoughts and opinion based on my experience, which I can say with certainty can never and should never be identical to those of another person. 

Making white people feel as if they can't do something

Please refer to the long historical list dating back centuries of the things black people aren't allowed to do, or aren't able to do without compromising ourselves, our culture or our safety simply because we're black. Privilege and specifically white privilege is something we will take the time to explore in the coming weeks.

If you have made it this far, well done because you have done more reading and thinking than you would've done if you hadn't clicked on this post. While you're nearing the end of this post, I'd like to take the time to reiterate that this is a personal journey. The views I have (and will develop) will be my own. 

I may be young but I am not naive. I know that these are massive topics to discuss and that there are so many layers to all of it but I am taking the brave step of letting go. The step of not being held back by fear of not knowing the answers or the questions to ask. I'm letting go of the fear of the potential friendships and relationships present and future that may breakdown as a result. I am very aware  of the potential impact speaking openly about race could have on my future career. 

I know all of this is a risk, but I also know that it's a risk I have to take. 

Now where were we.... 

Between you and me I just want to actually have a conversation with how you think it's okay? 

I'm choosing to end my post on this note. Although I strongly disagree with the phrasing and premise, I think that these conversations need to happen and continue. So here is me creating a space to do so because at some point we have to stop and think, if whatever we have been doing as a society hasn't worked, or hasn't worked to its greatest potential, then we need to change something. What better way of figuring it out is there than first opening the dialogue.